I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
