She said her name was "party"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
