Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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