i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
