Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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