I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
