Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
