Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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