YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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