I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
