put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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