You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Are we still banned from the library?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
