we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
