Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
