cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
