Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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