Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
