We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
