We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
