if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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