grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
