I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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