when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
