there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
