im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How does it feel to date your dad?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
