when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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