needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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