It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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