Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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