She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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