Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
