Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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