I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
