She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
handjob tips. give me some.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
