so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
