u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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