Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
