..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
