You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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