I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
