Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
