I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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