Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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