glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize