Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
