His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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