ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
