The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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