Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you had me at cake vodka
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So. Much. Porn.
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