garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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