Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And then my night got REAL pukey
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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