sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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