Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize