Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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