Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
