I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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