I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize