Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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