the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize
