Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
