She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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