He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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