I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
