I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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