Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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