update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
