i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
