You just made me feel so damn special
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize