Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
