I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
