I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
