I wish i was in the wii world.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize