Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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