Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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