Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
