do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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