just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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