Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
