He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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