how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
