There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
