Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
