What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
