i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Floor bacon is actually really good
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
