with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
