She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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